August 30, 2008
The Almost-Win
By Max Buzzell

PENSACOLA (The Write Stuff) - In the imaginary world of politics we have real Republicans and real Democrats; but in the real world you and I live in, we only have Almost-Democrats and Almost-Republicans. Let me explain.

As Donny and Marie put it, we're all a little bit "country," and we're all a little bit "rock and roll." We're almost-all a little bit maverick, and we're usually ready for some kind of change. We're almost-deep almost-down almost-conservative in our outlook, but still we live on the surface, turn left once in a while, are mostly transparent in what we do, and we all like to flash what we've got.

We can all think of issues and efforts that don't need a government-led solution, and yet we can all think of issues and efforts that need to be government-led. We almost-all dislike war, and yet can always think of things worth fighting for. We almost-believe that the right solution to the energy crisis is . . . more oil, . . . and more coal. (Almost-cleaner, that is.) But we also almost-think there is almost something to the almost-alternatives of solar, wind, and geothermal, . . . if only almost-someone would pay for more research. Most of us want the right to bear arms, but almost-none of us want to get shot. Almost-all of us need healthcare, and at almost-affordable prices.

The point being that nobody is all the way in one direction on a bipolar scale of two appealing adjectives; rather, almost-everyone thinks issues are important, and deserve serious consideration one at a time. We almost-all almost-have almost-values, even if we change our minds once in a while.